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While chatting one day with the daughter of a friend we were shocked to hear the conversation turn to, as the sweet 9-year-old described, a and”gang leaderand” in her classroom: and”He piled four desks in front of the window and sat at the very top, looking down at us very confidently. Even our teacher is afraid of him. His homework is always done by his desk mate.and”
Trying to overcome our surprise, we spoke to the girland’s mother, who is in fact a teacher, and who informs us that among her own students she has a similar situation. We decided to talk to some experts psychologist Sandumeyye Demir tells us that the general situation in schools is worse than what we had thought. She says: and”Ever since the 1990s, violence between youths is much worse than anything between teachers and students. But itand’s being ignored and justified as, and’well, theyand’re all friends theyand’ll make up later.and’ The less cooperation between teachers and families there is, the stronger these school bullies and their groups become.and”
Complaints against bullies generally result in the bullies or their victims being moved to a different class. But since there is a real lack of guidance from schools on these issues, the root of the problem is never confronted. Demir asserts that violent behavior within peer groups is the most dangerous kind because it is often ignored. Take a student who is much loved and found funny and interesting by all his classmates it turns out he is collecting a and”protection feeand” from his classmates, and attracting the attention of the girls at the same time. This student is surrounded by classmates who support him, who even want to be like him.
In the meantime, the influence of and”gangsand” in schools is more than many might expect. Some younger students are so afraid of the bullies in their school that they stay behind a grade. And if they donand’t tell others about how they are being victimized, it can have long-lasting psychological repercussions. Getting bullied students to open up and tell others what has happened to them is very important. Getting them to accept that anyone could experience similar situations is very important as well. Demir notes that there are typically a couple of types of intimidation. The first is physical intimidation which includes hitting, kicking and forcing other students to hand over money. The second category is verbal abuse, and this doesnand’t attract as much attention from teachers, who tend to tell students things like and”Just hug, apologize and make up now everything will be OK.and” But the truth is, the verbal abuse that some children receive from other children can lead to serious behavioral and psychological problems later.
h2 Bullying out of enjoyment not angerh2 Of course, most children do not emerge from childhood without having interacted with their peers in slightly violent ways, so if you are left wondering how to distinguish between these interactions and more concerning ones, you are not alone. Psychologist Beyza Akinal notes that when it comes to true bullies, they are not aggressive because they have been provoked, but because they seem to enjoy it. So itand’s important not to confuse people who are angry or have problems with anger control with real bullies.
Bullies are interested in power, and tend to choose victims from those who might already find them strong, good-looking, successful, or smart. As you might have already guessed, the majority of bullies tend to be males. Many of these bullies have learned about power plays and physical aggression in the homes from which they come.
As you might imagine, most bullies do not have low self esteem, but average or even above average levels of self esteem.
It is important to accept that bullies might abuse any child, but it is also true that some children are at a higher risk than others. For example, children who are unable to defend themselves, who have trouble speaking or are very shy. Demir notes that schools have a lot of responsibility when it comes to helping not only the bullies, but those victimized by them. She says: and”Both the victims and the bullies need to be monitored at school. Individual or group help needs to be offered by the school.andquot
h2 andlsquoI am the most popular person at schooland’h2 Dr. Sevil Albayrak is someone who has researched the trend of bullying in Turkey. Albayrak worked with students from seventh and eighth grades, and according to her data, 67.2 percent of students said male students were the bullies, while 29 percent pointed to females. Demir talks about some of the characteristics typically seen in young people who turn school into a nightmare for their peers. She says criminal activity outside school, dependence on cigarettes or alcohol and general aggression are all seen quite often in these youngsters. In addition, academic failure and a tendency to cheat are also frequently observed in bullies. Contrary to what one might think, bullies tend to have many friends, in fact, they are often more popular than their victims. Often they are also students who think forming a real friendship is and”easy.and” They enjoy choosing passive victims, and using them.
Bullies tend to have very authoritarian parents. Generally, their parents strongly believe in discipline through punishment. But at the root of the problem is often an unsupportive family which has little sense of responsibility towards the child in question. Sometimes, the bully might simply lack any real adult role model.
hr h2Distanced from schoolh2 Psychologist Beyza Akinal warns of the different problems seen in young children who are bullied. She says depression, extreme anxiety, poor performance in school and even stress-related urinary incontinence are quite frequent. She notes that bullying does not necessarily need to include physical violence to be considered bullying and provides this list of behaviors that fall into the category: belittling others, giving nicknames, making sexual jokes, making threats, using physical proximity, forcing others to give you money, forcing others to do your homework and forcing others to serve you

SOURCE: TODAY’S ZAMAN

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